You are a no-nonsense manager with very high standards. The people who work for you know where you stand at all times and have learned to respect your style. Recently, you were assigned by your VP to lead a cross-functional team in solving an important organizational problem. You have been in this role for two weeks and things are not going well. The team members are responding poorly to your leadership. You have become visibly angry on two occasions when the team did not go along with your recommendations. What can you do, before it's too late, to salvage this situation?

In my work coaching executives and teams, I have found situations such as this to be quite common. The individual in this dilemma is "retreating to the familiar" by employing a style that has worked well for him in the past.

He needs to let go of his preferred style and find a way to work collaboratively with his team. The more he attempts to give strong direction, the more likely things will deteriorate. He needs to do more asking and less telling. Keep in mind that flexible team leaders don't so much fix things, as help establish expectations, give balanced feedback, build trust, recognize accomplishments and negotiate agreement.

In cases such as this, it is often helpful to swallow one's pride and solicit the team's assistance in defining the leadership role. Get answers to the question, "How can I best help the team reach its goals?" Team leaders, in these situations, often find it useful to ask one of the team members for periodic feedback on his or her style. Are these recommendations easy to follow? Of course not! However, you will find that a few basic adjustments can turn cross-functional nightmares into success stories

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