I'm a new Product Marketing Manager in a Seattle medical device company. I've noticed in meetings that there are a lot of people with "sharp elbows." In other words, it is not uncommon for meeting attendees to make derogatory remarks to each other. I have yet to determine if this is an organization-wide cultural norm, but I find it off-putting and counterproductive.

My turn as a target will inevitably come and I want to be prepared as to how to respond. I have no intention of allowing myself to be a doormat.

The first few months of navigating organization waters are very critical to long-term success. You are wise to initially assess the degree to which this type of behavior is company-wide or possibly specific to the individuals in your meeting. Even if this behavior is the norm, you may still choose to confront the offending parties. If and when you are the target of rude comments or put-downs, you have every right to speak up and ask the individual to refrain from addressing you that way. This, of course is easier to do when the behavior is an aberration and not the norm.

As a new employee, it is important to consider the following factors, in addition to culture, when choosing to respond to objectionable behavior:

• The seriousness of the comment.

• The intention of the person making the comment.

• The power or status of the individual.

• Is the comment directed at you or at another person?

• As a new employee, are you being tested as a rite of passage or to determine your fortitude?

• What is the overall upside and downside of responding to the offending person?

There are some comments that require an immediate response due to the level of impropriety. On the other hand, comments made in jest or in a lighthearted manner may be best ignored. If the person making the comment is your boss or someone with a lot of organizational power, you probably want to speak to them in private. I would be careful of being the judge of political correctness when comments are addressed to another individual. There will be times, however, when the target of inappropriate behavior is not in a strong position to defend him or herself due to a lack of status or power. In these cases, depending on the nature of the comment, you may decide to intervene.

As much as I would like to give you a concrete answer regarding these types of incidents, they generally require a fair amount of discretion. When you are in a leadership position, it is easier to set the standard of professional behavior and to hold people accountable to that standard. When new teams are being formed, it is not uncommon for any team member to suggest a set of meeting guidelines for behavior including “criticize ideas, not individuals.”

I applaud your desire to work in an environment that is professional and considerate of all people. Unfortunately, even in these enlightened times, not every organization lives up to a high standard of behavior. There are vast differences in corporate cultures. Hopefully, you will discover that your recent experience is the exception rather than the rule for your organization.

Copyright , Mark J. Campbell. All rights reserved.
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"Mark Campbell partners with organizations for leadership development. For a complimentary subscription to his newsletter, "Management Challenges," go to www.mjcampbellassoc.com."

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