I am a marketing analyst for a healthcare products company in New Jersey. My workload has created a situation where I don't have a life and this has been going on for several months. I'm loosing weight and have had the same headache for several weeks. When I try to speak about this situation with my boss, he insists on telling me about his problems and how hard he is working. This is a great job and I've worked long and hard to get it, but now I am wondering if it's worth the hours I'm working and impairing my health. I will admit to being somewhat of a perfectionist, but my standards have always been high. Can you offer me any advice?

Your situation sounds very stressful. Naturally, it is difficult to provide coaching from a distance; however, there are several important points that come to mind.

1. Is there a light at the end of the tunnel?

   Every job has times when things get very frenetic. In manufacturing, it's the end of the month when people are trying to ship everything in sight to meet department goals. The finance folks have their own version of this with monthly, quarterly and year-end reports. People grow to expect these stressful times knowing that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. If in your case, there is no end in sight to the workload, then you need to examine if this job is worth the price you are paying.

2. Are there available resources that you are not using?

   When I was a young training manager I found myself under considerable stress because I failed to ask the following question. "Is there a consultant, contractor or additional full time person who could help me with the tremendous workload of my job?" Due to my inexperience, I assumed that I had to design and deliver pre-supervisory, supervisory and management programs by myself. Needless to say, this was not an optimum situation. What about you and your job. Are you so concerned about controlling the work that you can't ask for legitimate help?

3. Examine your standards.

   You mention in your e-mail that you are "somewhat of a perfectionist." Sit down with a trusted colleague and review the level of perfection you are applying to your work. As the French novelist Gustave Flaubert stated long ago, "Perfection is the enemy of the good." Are you making incorrect assumptions about what your manager expects from you? Are there other people in positions similar to yours who appear to have their work under control? Sometimes "good enough" is "good enough."

4. How do you renew yourself?

   Parkinson's Law states "Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion." If you don't have healthy relationships and interest to go to when you leave the office, then you may fall victim to Parkinson's Law. What do you do for fun? What hobbies, volunteer work and relationships bring joy to your life? If these are difficult questions to answer, we may have the cause of your stress.

If after examining the above points, you find that the cause of your stress is beyond your control, then it might be time to find a more suitable job. But first make sure you spend some time reflecting on the four areas outlined above. I hope this is helpful to you. Please let me know how things work out.