I work in a large east coast hospital as director of a residency program in pediatric surgery. We recently did some assessment work with an outside consultant and I discovered that people find me very intimidating. This was the first time in my fifty years that I have ever received such a comment from anyone. Apparently no one has felt comfortable in pointing out this perception to me. Since receiving the feedback, I have established a series of one-on-one meetings with the residents to try to get to know them better and to ask for additional feedback. Is there anything else I can do to help address this issue? It is very important to me that this perception doesn't get in the way of my career advancement.

You have discovered what consultants like me call a "Blind Spot." This is information about you that others have, but has been unknown to you. The more comfortable people feel in giving you feedback, the lower the probability of having a "Blind Spot." I'm impressed with the action you have taken to turn around the perception of you as intimidating. Believe it or not, there are some people who enjoy being perceived this way, and in some cases, work at cultivating an intimidating image. It doesn't take a PhD in organizational behavior to understand the downside of such an image. As a leader, it is difficult enough to get people to give you the information you need to do your job. If you are perceived as intimidating, it will be particularly difficult to get bad or unpopular news. The resulting communication vacuum can put you at a distinct disadvantage in your role as a leader.

There are a number of factors that can contribute to a perception of intimidation. If people don't have sufficient contact with you, then they will make their own assumptions about who you are. It doesn't help if you are a fairly unexpressive person. Hint - If people say that you are difficult to read or ask why you don't smile more, then you are probably not very expressive. This may be an advantage for a professional poker player, but as a leader, it can present problems.

Setting up a system of meetings is a must for you, but not sufficient to overcome the negative perception. You also need to monitor and enhance your informal communication. How you interact with people in the corridors and cafeteria will be critical in improving how people perceive you. When you are in these informal situations, ask a lot of questions. Find out what you can do to help people with bureaucratic roadblocks. Ask about their families. Inquire about what is working and not working in their jobs. Today, start building a "book" on the people you come into contact with most. Learn about their hobbies, families, where they went to school, etc. Don't wait for staff meetings to have conversations. Drop in on people from time to time and keep the conversation light. Over time you will build the type of relationships that make it easy for people to open up to you. They will begin to see you as approachable and not intimidating.

All of this may feel like hard work and difficult to quantify. As a leader, however, your job is to motivate and inspire people to deliver their best work. You can't accomplish this from behind closed doors. Get out and press the flesh. It will pay huge dividends and you will never again be accused of being intimidating.