As I sit here writing to you, I have smoke coming out my ears. I received my annual performance review yesterday and was blown out of the water by my boss's comments that "I'm not a team player." Let me back up a minute and explain. I'm the top producer of all of my manager's direct reports. I have received a number of financial awards for my work and most importantly, put in more hours than anyone in the entire department. I hardly slept at all last night and am tempted to write a rebuttal for attachment to my performance review. I would appreciate your advice before I do anything impulsive that could harm my career.

J. H.
Los Angeles, CA

Slow down my friend. Take several deep breaths and a long walk. I remember a similar situation, early in my career, where one critical comment almost ruined (for me) an excellent performance review. Now that many years have passed, and I can objectively analyze the situation, I have to admit that my boss' comments were very accurate. Fortunately for me, I kept my initial reaction from my boss or colleagues. I did bore a friend or two with my "righteous anger," but somehow our friendships survived.

I have no doubt that you are a high performer. It is also apparent from your e-mail that you are very serious about your work. Let's assume, for a minute, that there is a sliver of truth in your boss's comments. Ask yourself the following questions:

1. Do you like to be the center of attention in meetings?

2. Is it difficult for you to complement colleagues in public?

3. Has it been a while since you asked a colleague to lunch just to talk about what is going on in your respective lives?

4. Would it be unusual for you to send a professional article to a colleague that he or she would find interesting?

5. Has it been a while since you introduced a colleague to someone in your network who shared similar professional interests?

If you answered, "yes" to three or more of these questions, then you probably have work to do in the area of being a better team player. So why bother with this interpersonal stuff anyway? You cannot reach your full potential by your own efforts alone. It is essential that you be perceived as someone who is interested in helping colleagues succeed. There is a mutual dependency in work and life that is critical for success and happiness. The bottom line is, being a lone wolf, even an extremely good lone wolf, will only take you so far in your career.

I'm going to send you a survey used in my Building Effective Teams workshop. The survey measures how people commonly act in team situations. If you complete the survey and return it to me, I will call you and discuss the ramifications of your results.

My instincts tell me that this is a pivotal time in your career. Take time to fill out the survey and let's make something positive out of this difficult situation.