I am an engineer in a technology company. Six months ago I was promoted into my first management position. The job requires that I direct the efforts of five engineers while contributing thirty percent of my time to engineering projects. Two weeks ago my boss gave me some strong feedback regarding my communication style. He wants me to be more outgoing and expressive in my communication. I am basically a quiet reflective person and have a tendency to be more comfortable with the engineering part of my job. Do you have any advice on how to become a more effective communicator?

T. H.
Los Angeles, CA

Your situation is quite common, particularly for people in engineering, science, finance and medicine. The promotion to management requires developing new skills that were not critical in your previous position. My recommendation is that you build the following activities into your schedule and be very disciplined about carrying them out. Telling you to be more outgoing and to communicate more effectively is not useful. You need to develop formal strategies first and then work on communication style techniques.

• Establish a system of meetings:

  If you have not already done this, you need to schedule regular meetings with your team members, boss and internal customers. Set up a monthly meeting with your direct reports to discuss project issues and to keep things on track. Consider also meeting once each month with each individual member of your team. Use this meeting to help them with career, communication and project issues. If your boss does not meet with you at least once each month get on his or her schedule. Send an outline of what you would like to talk about a few days in advance. It is also important that you find ways to meet with your important internal customers. If you are not a part of meetings that these individuals conduct, find ways to get on their calendars every four to six week or more often if the situation dictates. Select a topic to discuss and set up a meeting through the person's administrative assistant. This system of meetings is the foundation of your communication success. It will go a long way towards improving both the perception and execution of the communication associated with your work.

• Start building relationships informally:

  Make a list of the people at work who are critical to your success. Next to each name indicate the quality of your relationship by writing: excellent, good, average or poor. Develop a plan to improve those relationships that you identified as poor. What is it that these individuals need from you that they are not currently receiving? What is their preferred way of communication and are you responding to that preference (formal, informal, bottom line, detailed, frequency, etc).

  What do you know about the people on your list? What are their business goals, hobbies, families and educational background? Start dropping by their offices for brief informal chats every so often. Don't wait until you need them for one your projects before speaking with them. A few minutes invested informally will help them know you as a human being. When the predictable conflicts and challenges arise, things will be resolved between you much more easily.

• Study effective communicators:

  Begin observing the people in your organization who are good communicators. If you don't know who they are, ask your colleagues to identify them for you. Find out what specifically it is that they do that works so well within your particular culture. Don't be afraid to ask these individuals for advice on handling specific communication situations. They will be happy and flattered to help you.

A great place to study effective communicators is Toastmasters International www.toastmasters.org. Join this terrific organization as soon as possible. I make this recommendation to many of my coaching clients and they find it extremely helpful. Toastmasters clubs are located in almost every community. By going to their website you can find the club nearest you. Toastmasters International is an effective and inexpensive way to develop your communication and leadership skills.