I was only minutes into my boardroom
presentation when one of the executives became totally enraged. His face began
to turn crimson, a vein on his forehead started to pulsate. "That's not what we
agreed to do," he shouted. My heart stopped and my mouth went dry. This was
like something out of a bad dream. Somehow I retained my composure and asked my
antagonist to explain his concerns. As he talked, his rage started to decrease,
but I remained guarded for the duration of the presentation.
Is this situation at the top of your "most feared list"? I have
been teaching workshops and coaching individuals on presentation skills for
over twenty years. In every program, when we list the attendee's top
presentation fears, the hostile questioner is always is in the top five. Let
there be no doubt regarding the following, once we step into a leadership role,
the probability of hostility being directed our way becomes a daily reality.
There will be people who have more power than us and will wield it
indiscriminately. Others will be upset by our position on a topic and will have
no qualms in letting us know their displeasure. In some cases we will encounter
a gadfly, which Webster defines as, "an intentionally annoying person who
stimulates or provokes others by persistent irritating criticism."
- Learning from Highly Skilled Leaders
Many years ago, during a town hall forum meeting
with the managers of a large technology company, I witnessed the company CEO
quickly and effectively address a bothersome gadfly. The Boston-based division
of this company was struggling financially and the individual (a well known
gadfly) asked the CEO, "What is the corporation doing to help our division."
The CEO replied, "I couldn't help but be aware that I'm in the home state of
JFK. Maybe the question should be, Ask not what your corporation can do for
you, but what you can do for your corporation. There was a mild chuckle
throughout the audience and the gadfly was not heard from for the remainder of
the evening.
Early in my career as a corporate trainer I
learned a very valuable lesson regarding the hostile questioner. Many of the
employees were sent to my workshops by their managers and were not happy
campers. They had no hesitation in letting me know about their unhappiness and
that "this touchy-feely stuff" was keeping them from real work. Sometimes I
could deflect the criticism with a bit of my Irish wit. In many cases the
comments opened the door to a healthy discussion. In no case did I respond in
the same tone as the questioner or try to put the individual in "his or her
place," no matter how tempting it might have been. It was not uncommon for
other workshop participants to approach me at the end of the day to say, "We
like the way you handled Harry's or June's comments. He or she has a tendency
to be somewhat outspoken but really don't mean anything by it."
- The Paramount Lesson
If I had abused the power of my position to "cut
the hostile questioner off at the knees," the entire audience would have turned
on me. It would have been an uphill struggle for the rest of the day. The
hostile questioner may have been a bit extreme or eccentric, but he or she was
still part of the audience's "corporate family" and I wasn't. This was a lesson
I never forgot and one that is critical for anyone in a leadership role.
If dealing with conflict is a natural
responsibility of leadership, what can we do to capitalize on its potentially
positive energy? More specifically, how do we handle conflict when it arises in
our presentations?
- Applying the Gift of Forgiveness to Hostile Questioners
In my book, The Five Gifts of Insightful
Leaders, I discuss how the gift of forgiveness can be helpful to leaders in
many ways. When you encounter a hostile questioner during a presentation,
consider first monitoring your own reaction. How could the gift of forgiveness
help you in this situation? Ask yourself the following questions, "Is the
individual's question valid, but asked in a harsh way? Does the question,
attitude or delivery justify losing your composure? Would asking the individual
to elaborate on his or her question help you to take a breath and respond in a
thoughtful way? Remember, as a leader, whenever you step to the lectern, the
audience sets the bar at a very high level for your behavior. Forgiving minor
and sometimes major slights can buy you significant credibility with the
audience and allow you to present your opinion to more receptive ears. Not
reacting in kind to these perceived affronts will allow you and your audience
to solve problems, learn from each other and move the discourse forward.
Note: You may want to check out my free
"Checklist for High-Stakes Presentations," available under
Coaching Tools on my website www.mjcampbellassoc.com.
The following resources from M. J.
Campbell Associates are recommended for your professional development:
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