Who do you rely upon to help you get your job done? How much authority do you have with these individuals? My guess is that there are scores of people, including your boss, who are important to your success, but over whom you have little control. The answer to this dilemma, we are told, can be found in workshops, seminars, books and articles on influence skills. The promotional materials for these events and publications include such topics as: The fine art of "quid pro quo," increasing your persuasiveness, knowing when to capitulate, managing conflict, and when to use coerciveness. All of these topics have value, but they are mere techniques, without a foundation, based on authentic relationships.

A friend of mine was recently asked to describe what he had learned from working with an executive coach. He thought for a minute and said; I never fully understood that business is all about relationships. Once I consciously began to work on my relationships, work became a lot easier. In my coaching practice, I am often asked to work with technical people who need to influence a wide array of people. We start out by making a list of their key stakeholders. The next step is to question the coaching client about his or her knowledge of these individuals. At this point, the client may discover that he or she has very little information about these people. They may then become puzzled or even defensive regarding the value of this process. It's not uncommon to hear words such as; I'm not interested in a popularity contest or playing politics. This whole thing sounds like manipulation to me.

In situations such as this, it is often helpful to review the comments I've gathered from the client's colleagues regarding his or her strengths and weaknesses. This information is usually convincing enough for the client to take a leap of faith and work with me on building key relationships.

I know that the premise of this article is second nature to some people, particularly those in sales. With the help of contact files, they know everything about their prospects and clients right down to shirt size and blood type. This process, however, may not be natural for most scientists, engineers or accountants.

Think about the top three people who are critical to your success and answer the following questions.

• What work element, project or goal is most important to this person?
• In what ways can you help this person reach his or her goals?
• How might this person perceive your goals and responsibilities as obstacles to his or her success?
• What do you know about this person's life outside work? (Family, hobbies, education, disappointments and aspirations).

The answers to these questions will help you get to know your stakeholders as people and as coworkers. You will begin to build a foundation highlighted by reciprocity and understanding.

Related Articles:
These articles may be found on our website, www.mjcampbellassoc.com.

• Do People Find You Approachable?
• What is Your Trust Quotient?
• Managing Your Boss

Recommended Reading:

Influence Without Authority by Allan R. Cohen and David L. Bradford, John Wiley and Sons, 1991, is another one of those books that I wish was available when I was in my twenties. Cohen and Bradford have written about a critical component of work that takes many of us a lifetime to master. They provide practical information on how projects really get accomplished in the world of work. This book can save you much frustration and heartache and advance your career.