This is the fifth in a series of articles based on my recently published book, Five Gifts of Insightful Leaders..
The shouting from the executive’s office caused everyone in the area to stop what they were doing. The only sound that could be heard was his angry voice. Employees glanced nervously at each other without commenting. At last, his office door opened and the manager who had been the object of the tirade quickly exited. As described by onlookers, “he was as white as a ghost.” People immediately returned to their work, but the tension remained in the air for some time. How long do you think it will take for word of this incident to spread throughout the entire organization? What will it take for the executive to regain the trust lost by his behavior?
In my book, Five Gifts of Insightful Leaders, I identify forgiveness as one of the central gifts leaders have available to increase their effectiveness. Forgiveness may at first appear to be an odd characteristic of leaders. In most of our work experience, if anyone is in need of practicing forgiveness, it’s workers. However, when we think of organizations where we have done our best work, it is often a place of high trust and low fear, where mistakes are viewed as opportunities to learn and not as justification for punishment.
There are some industries and professions today where it is particularly difficult to be a leader. Healthcare is one field where the pressures on leaders are very intense. I received an e-mail recently from Ken Rubin, MD, a physician leader at St. Francis Hospital in Port Washington, New York, describing these pressures: Physicians are extremely over-stressed, angry, and depressed. Reimbursement continues to fall, case loads are grossly over-booked in response, and the physician-patient relationship is hanging on by a frayed thread. Quite a sad situation. Inappropriate rage and acting out are more and more common across the profession. Ken and other successful leaders employ a variety of leadership behaviors in order to be a positive influence in stressful situations. He goes on to describe a recent encounter with a colleague: A couple of days ago I had an argument with one of my gastroenterologists, during which I was pretty assertive (not loud, but just immovable). I subsequently hand-wrote him an apology note when I found out he had been right about one of his points.
In Ken’s place of work, a written apology was an effective and unique way to heal a relationship that was quite possibly fractured by a disagreement. My guess is that the quality of the relationship with his colleague will improve as a result of this note. In a different organization, a quick “I messed up in that meeting,” or “You were right about the Jones account” gets the message across and allows people to move forward.
The astute leader is mindful of what works in his or her culture, the dynamics of the situation and the people involved. In my role as an executive coach, I have witnessed apologies by leaders that mend relationships and break down barriers to collaboration. Think about situations where apologizing to a colleague or direct report could release tension and bring about new levels of cooperation. What’s holding you back?
Note: Our book, Five Gifts of Insightful Leaders, offers many more suggestions on inspiring high performance through the Gift of Forgiveness.
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