Are you considering hiring a coach to work with a male executive? Are there special considerations to be aware of when working with male clients? This article will focus on three behaviors that are particularly important in coaching male executives.

It is common practice today to hire coaches to work with executives on topics ranging from strategic planning to delivering presentations. In the shadow of these assignments, however, are three behaviors that can significantly enhance or limit executive success. These behaviors are control, autonomy and introspection. The central proposition of this article is that savvy coaches, regardless of the assignment, are alert to how this powerful trio can help or detract from their client's performance.

• Control - Influence and control are critical to executive success. Overuse of control, naturally, can undermine any executive's effectiveness. In the extreme case, high control executives have difficulty retaining top-notch staff, and often end up derailing. I sometimes find that the mere suggestion of reducing control will cause some executives to respond with comments such as, If I do what you are recommending, I will lose my edge or If I let up on control, the inmates will take over the institution. The road to success is littered with the careers of executives who could not or would not moderate the application of control.

  The management literature focuses almost exclusively on the dangers of over-control. However, under-use of position power and control has also shattered the careers of many executives. The individual who abdicates responsibility for driving a vision, holding people accountable for results and pushing for necessary resources soon suffers the same career fate as the micro-manager. The good news is that a skilled coach can help executives identify the degree of control that is necessary for their particular situation. Once mastered, skillful use of control will reduce stress, enhance accomplishment of important goals and advance the executive's career.

• Autonomy - In our culture men are taught, at an early age, to figure things out for yourself, don't let them see you sweat, and If you work hard enough you can outperform anyone. We often grow up viewing other men as competitors rather than potential allies. We quickly learn that the world of work is no place for expressing uncertainty, self-doubt or a need for help. However, as in the case of control, a healthy dose of self-reliance is necessary to be an effective executive. Taken to the extreme, however, autonomy can be extremely limiting. Coaching clients often find it helpful to view autonomy along a continuum. They learn that knowing when to seek one's own counsel and when to draw on the talents of others is a powerful skill. The coach can be increasingly helpful as the executive becomes more open to moving along this continuum. Together, they can explore the value of building new alliances and drawing on untapped organizational resources. As one young, insightful engineer said to me recently, I wish more executives would learn that Superman is dead. They really don't have to go it alone.
• Introspection - There is a story told of a fifty-year-old male dentist who was interviewed by his local newspaper. The interviewer posed the following question, Tell me, how is it that you became a dentist? The dentist replied, Because some dumb eighteen-year-old kid thought it was a good idea. During all his years in practice, the dentist never stopped to review his original career decision. Experts on adult development are well aware that introspection, the examination of one's thoughts and feelings, is an important characteristic of high performing individuals. They also know that many male executives underutilize this skill. As we all know, the pace of corporate life leaves little time to reflect on values, priorities and relationships. As one executive said to me, "Sitting in an airliner is the only place I have for reflection."

An effective coach will help executive clients understand how the use of introspection can lead to higher quality decisions on critical matters. During their meetings, the coach will use a variety of approaches to help the executive slow down and examine the consequences of all available options.

While control, autonomy and introspection may not initially appear to be critical in an executive's development, they are frequently pivotal factors in male executives reaching full career potential.

Recommended Reading:

Wrestling With Love - How Men Struggle with Intimacy with Women, Children, Parents, and Each Other, Sam Osherson, Ballantine Books, 1992. This book is a great resource for readers who found this month's article, Coaching the Male Executive, to be of interest. Sam Osherson provides valuable insights regarding men and their unique strengths and challenges. Men and women alike will find this book immensely helpful in addressing personal growth beyond the usual business school skills and strategies.