In recent months, the approach that made you successful in the past is not producing the usual results. Your career advancement has been based on the ability to push yourself harder than those around you. Lately, however, some people have described you as highly task oriented and driven. In addition, your friends say that you don't know how to relax and have fun. In the past few weeks two of your best engineers have resigned to take positions with competitors. You also have come to the conclusion that the people in your organization don't share your sense of urgency. To turn this situation around, you have redoubled your efforts, but performance measures continue to slide.

The above situation describes an individual often characterized as having a Direct or Driver management style. These individuals like to take control and be in charge. They are attractive to senior executives because they get results. The down side of this style is that it can be perceived as putting results ahead of feelings. This style can have a negative impact on the organization's culture if not balanced with a healthy dose of self-awareness and interpersonal skills. One of the key skills that can help highly driven individuals is empathy. Trying to lead without empathy is like flying without radar. Without empathy, hard work and strong motivation will be insufficient to achieve long-term success.

When we say that an individual is "great at reading other people," we are commenting on empathy. In the absence of empathy, leaders misread people and find it difficult to motivate in a positive way. Empathic leaders also generate a high level of trust with the people in their organizations. Employees might be heard to say, "She understands me and knows where I'm coming from. I would be willing to do whatever it takes to achieve her goals."

I believe that the key to increasing empathy is feedback. To grow professionally, it is imperative that we receive thoughtful input on our behavior. Two ways to get such feedback are executive groups and one-on-one coaching.

• Facilitated groups such as TEC (www.teconline.com) are focused exclusively on executive development. The process often involves each executive presenting a challenging business situation he or she is currently dealing with. The other executives offer feedback and ideas for addressing the situation. Groups such as this offer an effective way to get helpful feedback on your interpersonal skills including empathy.
• If you prefer more individual attention, consider hiring an executive coach. A coach can provide real-time feedback on your use of empathy and other critical interpersonal skills. Coaches also help clients by observing them leading meetings, delivering presentations and preparing for complex encounters with peers, boss and direct reports. M. J. Campbell Associates has been offering coaching services for the past eight years with a wide variety of clients. Our website, www.mjcampbellassoc.com, provides detailed information regarding our approach to coaching.

Recommended Reading:

Leading Out Loud - The Authentic Speaker, the Credible Leader by Terry Pearce, Jossey-Bass, 1995 is an outstanding book for senior managers and executives. Pearce offers excellent advice on Connecting with Your Audience, Leading in the Age of Information, Engaging Your Audience, Winning People's Minds and Winning People's Hearts. This book is used in my Communications Skills for Managers course at the Harvard School of Public Health and has been well received by the students.