"If it wasn't for Harry I would have completed this
project long ago." Once again you are faced with an employee who is behind
schedule because of people he or she characterizes as "obstacles in the way of
progress." Inexperienced employees often find it easier to label people rather
than analyze the reasons for obstructionist behavior. Using the "story behind
the story" technique, you will help these individuals understand that, "not all
things are as they first appear." You will also teach them how to accept
responsibility for solving complex interpersonal problems.
The next time someone brings you a classical
"obstructionist" situation, ask him or her the following questions to get the
"story behind the story."
- What will the other person lose by cooperating with you? Could it be
status, power, resources or control? Would it be helpful to address the
perceived loss in a way that is non-threatening with this individual? How would
you do this? What would you say?
- Are there higher priorities consuming this person's
time? Can you identify alternative approaches and/or resources that would be
more acceptable to this individual?
- How would you characterize your relationship with
this person? Friendly, competitive, strained? How would you construct a dialog
to address the differences that are getting in the way of this relationship?
What would you say to open the discussion?
- Does this person treat you any differently than
other people? If the answer is no, then talk to people who have learned to work
with him or her. Ask them what works best and what approaches to avoid. If the
answer is yes, then review the other questions in this article.
- Is this person technically capable of helping you
with this project? If not, can you think of someone who is more suitable?
These are only a few of the possible reasons
why people appear to be "obstacles in the way of progress." By encouraging
employees to explore other possibilities you help them understand the story
behind the story.
There are two additional
critical elements required for this technique to work. First, you must refrain
from taking sides when the situation is first presented to you. Second, the
employee must be open to talking the problem through with the perceived
obstructionist.
It is inevitable that people
in your organization will face situations such as those discussed above
throughout their careers. By applying the story behind the story technique you
will save these individuals much heartache.