It was one of my most bizarre sales calls ever as an executive coach. The prospect was the CEO of a family owned business. We initially had a good conversation about his coaching needs, when suddenly he astonished me with the following statement, "I'm interviewing a number of people like you, and eventually I will know as much as any of you and do my own coaching."

Was this individual arrogant, naïve or both? What would it really take for him or anyone to become an accomplished coach? If he had been interested in recommendations, I would have offered the following:

1. Be open to coaching for yourself

   The famous baseball manager Gene Mauch stated, "You can't lead anyone else further than you have gone yourself." To be effective in coaching others, you have to have your own house in order. Do you act defensively when receiving constructive feedback? Do you feel that you have to know more than anyone who reports to you? Do you refuse to ask for advice when stuck on a problem? If the answer to any or all of these questions is yes, consider getting coaching for yourself. Enroll in a management development program that has a coaching component. This process will allow you to examine your own reactions to coaching, make adjustments and become a better coach.

2. Respect individual differences

   Employees immediately know when they are being judged. Effective coaches understand that everyone is wired differently and brings special talents to the organization. The father of American psychology, Carl Rogers, created the phrase unconditional positive regard. He believed that the key to helping people grow is to show acceptance. Understand that attempting to force employees into your mold or style will only lead to disaster. Instead, focus on the individual's strengths and watch the magic that will happen.

3. Change the job, not the person

   Outstanding managers work hard at placing employees in jobs that will maximize their contribution to the organization. They know which characteristics can be changed and which are woven into the individual's DNA. One of my favorite quotes on this subject is from the late author and speaker Earl Nightingale, "There is a place in life for each of us where our job fits like a well-worn corduroy jacket. It is a place where we are in harmony with all who are around us" (paraphrased). The manager's job is to help each employee find that job and then get out of the way.

Organizations are increasingly valuing coaching as a management skill. Job descriptions for management openings almost always have a requirement for this important skill. Work on your coaching skills and many desirable career opportunities will come your way.