What if I told you that you already have everything you need to be an extraordinary communicator? I know that this will be a difficult statement for many people to accept. There is a tendency to believe that we need to be more like the leaders in our organizations or celebrities in the public light to be considered an extraordinary communicator. As an executive coach, I see examples of this every day in my practice. It’s unsettling to hear a competent midlevel manager use the speech patterns and mannerisms of his or her boss during a presentation. The manager has yet to learn that what brought him or her to this place in time is good enough. In our journey to becoming a more effective communicator, it is important to understand that extraordinary communicators do have a secret and it is this: they understand the power of being authentic.

As someone who teaches communications skills at one of the top universities in the country, I am well aware of the emphasis that is put on mastering communication techniques. I have come to believe, however, that extraordinary communicators are built from the inside out. The moment you and I veer from our authentic self, we risk being perceived, at best, as not credible, and in the worst case as phony. We may have to adjust the volume of our speech or increase our expressiveness, but our authentic self will always carry the day.

I recall a highly intelligent manager in a client firm who had a difficult time grasping the authenticity concept. In one memorable situation, he was delivering a presentation to his boss and colleagues, and to make a point he held up a computer report and let the pages cascade to the floor. His colleagues were incredibly put off by this unnecessary showmanship. The technique might have worked in a large auditorium with hundreds of people in attendance, but totally bombed with a small group of peers. This over-the-top technique eroded the manager’s credibility with his colleagues.

Think of the people you know who you would categorize as authentic. What is it about them that has earned this perception by you and others? I believe that these individuals have reached a level of self-acceptance and a belief that what got them here is good enough to be effective. They don’t use histrionics, temper tantrums, startling statements or hyperbole when communicating.

In many years of studying authentic communicators, I have observed the following additional characteristics:

• They are exquisitely prepared for presentations and meetings. This preparation makes it totally unnecessary for them to resort to unsubstantiated statements, personal attacks or emotional outbursts to win a debate or make a point.

• The authentic communicator’s demeanor is always steady and predictable. Because of this, direct reports and colleagues feel safe enough to take risks that contribute to solving the most challenging problems.

• These extraordinary leaders maintain a high level of technical competence. They attend workshops, state-of-the-art courses and pursue advanced degrees while others are comfortable coasting. Their competence contributes strongly to a reputation of being authentic and a person of substance.

What can you do to become an authentic communicator?

1. Use your unique personal characteristics more often when you communicate

   Authentic communicators don’t hide their sense of humor, story telling ability or curiosity about other people. Ask your trusted friends and allies to give you feedback on your communication strengths and don’t be afraid to use them frequently. When I look around the room in meetings, courses and workshops, it is amazing how few individuals project their unique personal strengths when communicating. Over the years, I have observed that every one of my clients and students has unique characteristics that separate them from others. My job, as a coach and teacher, is to help them identify and leverage these characteristics. I believe that in many respects, the smile, voice or energy becomes a special gift to my student’s audiences.

2. Be available on a daily basis

   Authentic communicators don’t wait for meetings and presentations to connect with people. They take the time to build informal relationships every day. These individuals learn about their colleagues and look for ways to be helpful. It’s hard for people to perceive us as authentic when they don’t really know us. This is one investment of time that will pay off repeatedly and help people to know our authentic self.

3. Don’t be all business all the time

   Authentic people have rich lives and are not afraid to give us a glimpse of their non-work existence. A client recently described having difficulty relating to a colleague and described her as “sanitized.” I asked what this meant and he said that his colleague was “all business all the time.” She never discussed family, friends or hobbies. People found her cold and unapproachable and certainly not authentic.

The benefits of being an authentic communicator are tremendous. Remember above all else, people want a connection, not a performance.

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