Have you ever been in an awkward situation, where you just wanted to “get out of town as fast as possible?” Many years ago, as a very young human resources manager, I found myself in such a situation at an executive staff meeting. My role was to be the expert on new federal legislation that impacted our business. Unfortunately, I wasn’t as “expert” as I should have been. A particularly combative staff member sensed my lack of knowledge and began to interrogate me. Just when it felt like I was going down for the third time, the VP in charge said, “Mark, let me help you with that question.” He looked directly at my inquisitor, answered his question and quickly moved us to the next item on the agenda. He could have hung me out to dry, but he didn’t. He extricated me from a difficult situation, while also maintaining the dignity of my interrogator. This was an act of empathy and of leadership.

If I asked you to identify the key qualities of successful leaders, how would you respond? Would you list visionary, courageous, strong and resourceful? What about empathic, the ability to sense and express what another person is feeling or experiencing?

Empathy is not a quality that most of us would put on our list of leadership descriptors. When asked to discuss our leadership style in an employment interview, few of us would highlight empathy. However, leaders who function without empathy are often perceived as consistently putting business results before people. They might succeed when things are going well, but often struggle in times of adversity. On the other hand, the best negotiators, consensus builders and problem solvers rely heavily on empathy for their success.

Empathic leaders are especially effective in handling the two constants in every leader’s life: introducing change and resolving conflict. These leaders have a unique edge in their ability to read and responding to the unexpressed feelings and concerns of their constituents.

• Introducing Change

  The empathic leader understands that organizational change often brings about anxiety and fear for employees. He or she will take the time to meet with groups of people and address their concerns. This is often a "pay me now or pay me latter" situation. The leader understands that failure to take the time to sufficiently communicate the change in the beginning, will only lead to a longer than necessary period of time for successful implementation.

• Resolving Conflict

  The key to resolving conflict often involves putting aside our assumptions about the other person's goals and motives and listening to his or her position. In these difficult situations, empathic leaders are able to temporarily suspend judgment, ask clarifying questions and most of all, listen intently. This approach often leads to uncovering common ground and a basis for resolving the conflict.

Can being an empathic leader really pay off? Many years ago, a colleague of mine was selected to be president of a large manufacturing company. After he had been in the job a few weeks, he asked a member of the selection committee why he was chosen over several other candidates. The committee member stated that the decision involved three words, “People, People and People.” We interviewed many individuals with excellent technical minds, but we needed someone who could relate to and motivate our employees.”

Take the time to develop the empathetic skills of listening, observing, paraphrasing, and offering encouraging comments, and watch the magic that unfolds.

Expressing empathy is one of the major leadership qualities addressed in Mark Campbell’s book, Five Gifts of Insightful Leaders.

• Related Reading:

  "The Most Neglected Communication Skill - Coaching Tips Achieve

• Recommended Presentation:

  "Five Gifts of Insightful Leaders" - Speeches by Mark Campbell