There is no relationship in our work life that is more important than the one with our manager. If we are not careful our expectations of our manager can become unrealistic. However, by applying a few basic principles we can enjoy a very productive relationship with our manager. Keep in mind, that he or she is, in most cases, dealing with an even higher stress level than you. They also have multiple direct reports with varying needs for direction, support and coaching.

Learning to build healthy relationships with your manager is a critical skill. As long as you are in the work force, you will have someone to report to and in some cases several people. The following recommendations are intended to help you build a positive and practical relationship with your manager.

• Examine Your Style Differences

  We all have preferred ways of approaching work. Your manager may be reserved and bottom-line oriented. You, on the other hand, are extroverted and like to focus on the big-picture. Differences in style are neither good or bad, however, they are important to understand if we are to succeed in business. It is unrealistic to expect your manager to adjust his or her style for your benefit. If you determine that differences in style are getting in the way of your employee/manager relationship, get flexible and adjust your style.

• Understand Your Manager's Priorities

  Those of us who are passionate about our work often become irritated when we are asked to focus on a project that is less than scintillating. Disappointments such as this can be avoided by understanding what is important to our manager. Take responsibility for getting this information as regularly as possible. Please understand that in this age of discontinuous change, the people you work for have priorities change frequently by their managers. Your appreciation of challenges such as these will go a long way towards developing a healthy relationship with your manager.

• Avoid Pyrrhic Victories

  There will be times when you will be tempted to argue aggressively with your manager in a meeting with other people. When this temptation arises, think of the following story. Pyrrhus, King of Epirus defeated the Romans in 279 B. C. at Asculum in Apulia. He won the battle but sustained losses that were excessive. Following the battle he stated, "One more such victory and I am lost." Since that time, situations such as this have been called Pyrrhic Victories. When we win an argument with our manager in an open meeting, it frequently will result in a Pyrrhic Victory. Strong managers welcome healthy debate. However, if you sense that your comments could undercut your manager, schedule the discussion for a one-on-one meeting. Pyrrhic Victories come with a big price.

Apply these suggestions and you will avoid much of the difficulty associated with the employee/boss relationship. It requires a little flexibility and insight but in the long run the benefits are well worth the effort.

Recommended Reading:
"Managing Your Boss" (article) by John J. Gabarro and John P. Kotter - Harvard Business Review On Point - Available from Harvard Business School Publishing www.hbsp.harvard.edu

Copyright 2006, Mark J. Campbell. All rights reserved.
Permission to reprint this article is granted, provided you let me know where it is being printed, the copyright is not removed, and the following text accompanies each article:

"Mark Campbell partners with organizations for leadership development. For a complimentary subscription to his newsletter, "Management Challenges," go to www.mjcampbellassoc.com."

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